Signs of an Abusive Person
The following are common signs that a person is or may turn out to be abusive to his/her partner. Answering yes to one or two questions below does not necessarily mean a person is abusive. However, if any of the questions below are true of you or your partner, you should be cautious about proceeding with the relationship and be sure to address those issues right away, getting help if necessary.
Am I or is my partner a person who...
- Gets very serious with boyfriends/girlfriends very quickly -- saying "I love you" very early, pressures to become sexually active immediately, pressures to move in together or get engaged after a short time?
- Comes on very strong, is extremely charming and an overly smooth talker?
- Is extremely jealous?
- Isolates partner from support systems (friends, family, or outside activities, etc.)?
- Attempts to control what partner wears, does, or who they hang out with?
- Is abusive toward other people, especially their mothers or sisters or past relationships (boyfriends/girlfriends)?
- Blames others for one's own misbehavior or failures?
- Abuses drugs or alcohol?
- Has unrealistic expectations, like expecting partner to meet all of one's needs or expecting to be treated "perfectly"?
- Is overly sensitive -- acts "hurt" when not getting one's way, takes offense when others disagree with an opinion, gets very upset at small inconveniences that are just a normal part of life?
- Has ever been cruel to animals
- Has ever abused children or pretends like they are going to in order to frighten or tease children?
- Has ever threatened to be violent to get their way?
- Calls partner names, puts him/her down, or curses at him/her?
- Is extremely moody, and switches quickly from being very nice to exploding in anger?
- Is intimidating, using threatening body language, punching walls, or breaking objects?
- Holds partner against his/her will to keep him/her from walking away or leaving the room?
*Adapted from National Domestic Violence Hotline guidelines
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If you need help, we will help you stop the abuse and contact proper authorities.
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